I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
