Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
