i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
youre lurking in front of me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
