soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
