Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
