College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
