are you so shy because you have an std?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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