You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize