Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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