Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
