He asked to "fluff my boner.."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
