so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
