i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
