I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
