so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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