you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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