Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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