oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
