Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
