A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
