dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
