hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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