Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
