tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
