I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
