i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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