The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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