my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
