I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
