these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
