i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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