she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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