i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
