when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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