Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
