I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
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