as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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