new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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