WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
