dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
