There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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