The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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