You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
