I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
