let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
