grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
