i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This is my gift to your gina
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
