y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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