is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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