There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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