By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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