yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
