my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
