In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Randomize
