You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
