im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my shit smells like andre
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This baby is an asshole
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
