So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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