That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
