I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize