how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
