So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
