Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
