Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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